I, too.
God and tree bark
I, too, ran barefoot in the field and felt life come awake in me, under logs with salamanders, and by propping tree branches up to make a roof as a child
I, too, teetered on logs, and fell in the muck of ponds up to my knees, for the sake of being “one with the Earth”
I tried to tell someone about my childish ways of feeling “Home among the trees,” and she stopped me as I spoke.
She said “this is not childish. There was a light in your eyes when you spoke about the bark skinning your knees and climbing trees that you had named as if they knew you.”
I started to cry.
I, too, have learned that there is a small list of things and people that can be relied on and leaned on, and to keep a collection of them close at hand can help you survive.
I, too, learned in the last three years that I have always been able to lean my back against the tree, and they have not let me down. Not yet.
I hate going there but I must:
Perhaps, God has let you down. If I were to guess,
I bet it was actually people that have let you down…
I bet you’ve formed and cultivated who you think He is based on how people who say they love him, have treated you.
I could be wrong.
I, too, have been harmed by people who have told me they love God, and yet have not showed me love at all. People are people and they are horrid and wonderful and I know that because I am one.
But I have learned, and even knew this as a barefoot child,
That you can learn just as much or more about God by leaning your back against the bark of the tree.
